Thursday, January 8, 2009

A Zanpakuto By Any Other Name


Okay. Let the Episodes begin.
This is going to be fun.
Guys.

There are some things that you shouldn't do when expecting to hook a good looking, witty, experienced and, most importantly, intelligent female.
1. Do not have a plan. Smart women see a plan a mile away, pour tequila on it and set it on fire. Or they just laugh at you in their cynical, opportunistic hearts.
Either way, you lose.
2. Do not wear too much hair product. You are not a vampire, and therefore cannot get away with gravity-challenged hair in real life. It is just Not Hot.
Every girl loves natural waves and healthy hair, the kind that babies always go for.
Yeah. So if you don't have wavy hair, too bad for you.

There are some things you should do. Especially when it comes to your clothes.

1. Turtlenecks. Are the male equivalent of a corset. Except manly. And we also have a female version of it. There are male versions of corsets, but that's another topic entirely.

Okay, there is absolutely no correlation between corsets and turtlenecks.

Except that they're both Hot.


2. If you're wearing a shirt, and unless you're the CEO of a multimillion dollar company, roll up the sleeves. Especially if you're an athlete. Because you do not want to be confused with a Nerd*. And it's Hot, in a whatever, I don't care that I'm wearing a shirt way.

Try not to look like you're going to beat on someone when doing this.


Okay. Is all for today.

And do not wear Japanese slippers. With anything. I don't care if you're the demigod of Asian debating.
Just don't.
*will be explained along with Geek, Jock, Himbo, Dweeb et al.

Try to look like this

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You forgot:

1) A guy shouldn't talk about himself the whole time. Ask about the girl. The intelligent one. She surely will have something (better) to say.

2)Pay for lunch/dinner/tea/supper. That'll impress 'em. But not all the time though. Cos then it's free food, but b.o.r.i.n.g.

3) Be a gentleman! Are they all dead or what?! (or they turn out to be those you can't have/married/engaged/forbidden to love).

urgh.

sam said...

I totally wanted to put no. 2, but then i didn't want to be accused of materialism.
thank you for saying it ;)
I think the definition of gentlemen deserves its own post.
haha.