Shabooya

Sha sha shabooya

Roll call

My name is Sam

I grant three wishes

You wish I'd shake it

Coz I'm delicious

Sha sha shabooya

Roll call

Yes. I did totally rip that off from Bring It On 3: All or Nothing (or something like that).

For a straight to video release it was...like a straight to video release.

While watching it, I didn't know it was a stv. I wondered why the acting was so wooden. So fake.

So bad.

And why the lead actress was chubby.

Before I am stabbed for being size-ist, let me ask you, if you are watching a cheerleader movie (keep in mind, it is a movie. Nothing to do with reality), do you expect the cheerleaders to look like short supermodels, or like...Hayden Panettiere?

Yeah, she's cute.

Cute.

Not hot.

Except maybe with some leather and Milo Ventimiglia, both of which would make most people hot.

So anyway.

(But she still scores the gorgeous guy! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgh).

Again, anywaay.

As usual, watching a cheerleader movie brought to the surface my (and every other girls. unless you're Panettiere) latent desire to be validated for our bodies, our bitchiness and our innate ability to shake our asses without a hair falling out of place, assuming I am even able to do so in the first place.

Who doesn't want to be hot lah honestly. Yeah, yeah, we go on about how important intelligence and personality and heart and yadda yadda yadda is, but what we really want is Gus Carr.

Uh, I mean, hotness.

Hotness and then the other stuff.

Hotness is the main ingredient.

The other stuff is just to make it look good.
If we look back in time, you can trace the evolution of shallowness, which has reached its peak in my friend Trinna.

Stupidity makes you feel inferior. Unattractiveness makes you feel insecure.

Are these actually mechanisms to ensure that we strive to be as smart and as beautiful as we are intended to be?

Or did humanity just screw up so bad we don't know what we want and can never be happy?

How am I supposed to know? I watch cheerleader movies.

My name is Gus

I am damn fine

If you want it

You gotta wait in line

Sha sha shabooya