This is what I told everyone to watch...but noooThe other day I watched Max Payne with Iylia, Kat, Ghad and Wai Yung.
The movie left me with several questions.
The questions are:
9. Who is Mona Sax, and why does she walk around with an unconcealed weapon?
8. Why does Payne's wife keep making cheesy, don't-die-yet appearances?
7. What happened to the baby?
6. Why are Natasha's legs so damn long?
5. How come Payne's opponent standing above him and aiming directly at his head cannot hit him, but Payne can by shooting backwards?
4. How come Payne's bullets move slower than everyone else's?
3. What do valkyries and ragnarok have to do with anything?
2. I thought valkyrie were hot chicks.
1. Why did they even bother making this movie in the first place.
The answer to question 1 is obvious once you finish watching the movie.
'They' are idiots.
Did they not watch Doom? And Resident Evil?And RE2? And RE3? And every other movie made based on a video game? Oh, and Mortal Kombat. 1 and 2.
Did they not look up the meaning of lame in the dictionary and see the abovementioned directly below it?
Oh, and Dungeons and Dragons.
The movie left me with several questions.
The questions are:
9. Who is Mona Sax, and why does she walk around with an unconcealed weapon?
8. Why does Payne's wife keep making cheesy, don't-die-yet appearances?
7. What happened to the baby?
6. Why are Natasha's legs so damn long?
5. How come Payne's opponent standing above him and aiming directly at his head cannot hit him, but Payne can by shooting backwards?
4. How come Payne's bullets move slower than everyone else's?
3. What do valkyries and ragnarok have to do with anything?
2. I thought valkyrie were hot chicks.
1. Why did they even bother making this movie in the first place.
The answer to question 1 is obvious once you finish watching the movie.
'They' are idiots.
Did they not watch Doom? And Resident Evil?And RE2? And RE3? And every other movie made based on a video game? Oh, and Mortal Kombat. 1 and 2.
Did they not look up the meaning of lame in the dictionary and see the abovementioned directly below it?
Oh, and Dungeons and Dragons.
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What they should have done was adapt a comic book character.
Why?
Hulk was cool.
Iron Man was cooler.
Dark Knight was the kind of icebox that you use for deep sea fishing
Why?
Hulk was cool.
Iron Man was cooler.
Dark Knight was the kind of icebox that you use for deep sea fishing
.
.
.
.
What I mean to say is that Dark Knight was awesome.
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Anyway. According to MY trend analysis (which is the only trend analysis that matters), the character should be a chick.
And she should be from Marvel.
(Why? Because DC chicks are just lame.
Wonder Woman - lame
Black Canary - lame (also, lame name)
Hawk Girl - lame (even lamer name)
Raven - ...kind of like her
Oracle - ...kind of like her, too.
We'll stop here.)
She should have a troubled past (duh).
She should be anti-heroic (or, anti-heroinic).
Her uniform should consist of skintight leather.
She should have black hair.
And claws.
And be psychotic, but good.
Also, taller than Wolverine.
Basically, X-23 should have had her own movie.
And she should be from Marvel.
(Why? Because DC chicks are just lame.
Wonder Woman - lame
Black Canary - lame (also, lame name)
Hawk Girl - lame (even lamer name)
Raven - ...kind of like her
Oracle - ...kind of like her, too.
We'll stop here.)
She should have a troubled past (duh).
She should be anti-heroic (or, anti-heroinic).
Her uniform should consist of skintight leather.
She should have black hair.
And claws.
And be psychotic, but good.
Also, taller than Wolverine.
Basically, X-23 should have had her own movie.
2 comments:
You seriously need a life.
what?
i have one.
catless and relationshipless, but it's the only one i've got.
i'm not the one complaining about having nothing to do.
heh heh heh.
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