He's Just Not That...Whatever.

They forgot to put Natalie Portman in this movie

When this movie was in production, I heard they had some trouble with the title.
They couldn’t decide between He’s Just Not That Into You and Scarlett Johansson’s Boobs.

Since they didn’t want to associate with Z-grade porn, the movie was named the former.

I’m not the kind of person who is capable of remembering every quotable quote from a movie and then successfully regurgitating it afterwards. But there was a scene that made me think, Hey, yeah. That’s true.

It was a scene between Justin Long (Alex) and Ginnifer Goodwin (Gigi). Basically Gigi had just attempted to throw herself at Alex, and he was all Huh? What?
And she tells him it was because of all the ‘signs’

Like, you say it’s nice hearing from you, and your imaginary friend ‘Bill’ and you even stopped making out with a hot chick to answer my call.

And his reply:

What? What is wrong with you women? Why do you have to overanalyze everything? Why do you have to take things apart and see signs everywhere?!? Why do you have to pick it to bits…God! This is exactly what I was telling you about.

And Trin and I were like, Oh my God, this is exactly what women do, everytime, without fail. Analyse analyse analyse. Everything has a meaning. Why can’t being nice to a member of the opposite sex just mean that you’re being nice?
Because, if you are into that member of the opposite sex, it’ll mean something. If that person is into you, it means something. If that person is goodlooking or interesting or funny or in any way a FIVE AND ABOVE ON THE TEN SCALE for you, it means something. Whether you want it to or not.

So besides that sucky moment of realization, and the other sucky moment of realization (that women treat guys that they are not into just as badly as guys treat girls that they are not into), the movie was basically about Scarlett Johansson’s assets, Ginnifer Goodwin’s smile, and the fact that Jennifer Aniston is old and unmarried. And Bradley Cooper.
Bradley Cooper as the cheating husband is disgustingly hot – and self-centered. After his first huge mistake that ends in divorce, at the end of the movie, he just does it again.
People like him can’t help it. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

In my opinion, the movie could have happily cruised along based wholly on Justin Long’s charm. Not that I’m complaining about Scarlett. She is hot the way forest fires wish they were hot.

And another thing. Like, 70% of the cast is named Jennifer, or some derivative.
Hollywood! Hire some Anushkas or Mei Lings or something already.