Zatanna Zatara

This is the new, improved, yet-to-be tortured, mutilated or murdered Agatha Harkness

Today, having nothing much to do (okay, okay, nothing AT ALL to do), I started thinking about my future.

Okay, that's also a lie. What I did was watch 8 episodes of Witch Hunter Robin before checking comic book updates at comicvine.com, which lasted several hours as I was sidetracked by the Women in Refrigerators theory (I just realised I don't know how to spell refrigerator. Argh. The Irony. Of studying for three years and misspelling a kitchen appliance).

Women in Referigerators is a theory wherefore female comic book characters are killed, raped, maimed, mutilated, depowered, prostituted, paralysed, tortured and/or generally made to suffer to create sympathy for the storyline/male hero and to make readers take the storyline/villain seriously.

Wow.
That's like some serious psychological shit from a comic book writer.
And then I read the list.
Here is an excerpt of the list:

Ms. Marvel I/Warbird/Binary (mind-controlled, impregnated by rape, powers and memories stolen, cosmic-powered then depowered, alcoholic - SHEESH!)

Jubilee (tortured for information, crucified/died/resurrected, impaled through the chest on an iron beam, depowered)

Rogue (just plain messed up)

Wolfsbane (locked in werewolf form for awhile, needs major therapy, ate her own father due do mind-control)

Several things crossed my mind as I read the complete list.
1. Ouch (especially to Wolfsbane).

2. Am I supposed to take this seriously?

3. Rogue is not THAT messed up. I mean, come on. She has Gambit, a mother and she can fly (granted, she and Gambit are no longer talking, her mother is Mystique who is constantly trying to kill her and everyone around her, and she got her ability to fly by practically killing Ms. Marvel), but hey. She really doesn't have that much to complain about.

4. They forgot Polaris!

Not only that, what about Skids, what about Karma, what about Danii Moonstar, Risque, Magma, Catiana, Nyx, Sarah Pezzini and pretty much every other heroine ever created?
Like what the hell.
I just realised this list is redundant.
I mean, if beautiful, powerful women are not reduced in some way to show their so-called humanity, nobody would read comic books.
Yeah?
Yeah.

Oh, I thought of one woman who would never be refrigerated.
Emma Frost.
Ha ha ha. Now that's irony.

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Anyway, after all that, I started thinking about my future. Or at least, what my past-me thought my future-me would be.

The past-me thought my future-me would be studying psychology on my way to becoming a criminal psychologist where I would devote myself to curing those who were tragically sick in the head and leave my compassionate mark on this apathetic world.
Why did my p-m think this?

It is because of Profiler.
It was a TV series like way back when, when we were in primary school.
It was about this lady profiler (yank talk for criminal psychologist) who was always so cool yet tragic and she had these big eyes and she was waay more appealing than Danny Glover (sorry Mr. Glover. But you lose to the blonde chick).
And her name was Samantha Waters.
Serious.
As I remember it lah.
Anyway, the 9-or-10 year old me thought, Christ, this is Fate.
I think this lady is hot and has a mindblowing job AND she shares my name.
Jeng. Jeng. Jeng.
And for the next 9-or-10 years I thought it was my Destiny.

But then the God of, well, God, I guess, kind of pissed all over my dreams and here I am studying graphic arts.

Wow. I just Googled Samantha Waters, and not only is she a criminal psychologist, she is apparently also a high-end silicon valley call girl.
Hmm.
Is the aforesaid God trying to send me a message? Is he saying that if I had made the mistake of Googling Samantha Waters a decade ago, my Destiny would have been different?
....
Like, I seriously doubt that.
Which university gives call-girl classes anyway.

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Thankfully, that was just one of my Ultimate Dreams.
But still, it was The Most Ultimate of my Ultimate Dreams.

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I managed to remain vegetarian today!
Although I did consume, like, 25 Jacob's Cream Crackers.
Yum.
I mean it.
That was a serious, uncynical yum.
And you know what's even yummier?
The Hi-Fibre Crackers.
Ha ha ha.

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