In Other Words, I'd Like To Be Emma Dalgliesh

Yesterday I was asked what I would like to do had I not have to think of money.

I came up with some balderdash about how I'd like to write and travel and do charity work, which, at that time, I believed was completely true.

Like Angelina Jolie, except literate and sane.

Sounds nice what.

But when I went back and started to think about it (as one is apt to do once one has answered the question and has no recourse. What are you going to do? Send an email saying, sorry, you know that question you asked? I want to change my answer after further consideration. Pooh).

And I decided that at the moment, what I would like to do if I didn't have to worry about money or reality or whatever, is to teach literature at a university. And since we're in an ideal world, I'd be teaching to a class of interested students. And then I'll go home and do my own writing.

And I'd still travel, but by myself or with sugarplum. For my own memories. And I'd do some charity work. But no starving children. Or homeless people. Or old people. Or really sick people. Or people with no country. Or anyone in a sad situation that I can't do anything to change that will just make me hate humanity.

Maybe I'll just stick to the SPCA then. I like animals better than most people anyway.

The Simple Minded Cat and His Inability to Behave Normally

When my mother first moved down, she was asked by her new employer to catsit. Since no one says no to their employer, we were saddled with two more animals in the house in addition to two (at that time) bunnies, Missy the Cat and a teenage boy.

The cats were very big and had shiny coats. One was a handsome orange fellow and the other was white with a body the size of a briefcase and a tiny head.

The white one refused to come out of the cat carrier while the handsome one happily whored himself out to all who would pet him (shameless behaviour he still practices now).

Come out, we said to the white cat. We won't hurt you. Maybe Missy will, but she is the size of your foreleg. Eventually the owner bodily dragged the cat from the carrier and placed it in the outside world where it promptly hid in some dark corner.

What is wrong with that cat? Why is it so weird and neurotic?
Oh, says the owner. Don't mind him. He was stuck in a washing machine when he was younger.
0_________________________________________O

Apparently being run through a washing cycle makes you retarded as well as intensely shy.
The white cat, Lunares (also called Charley but from now on known as the Simple Minded Cat or SMC) was simply incapable of living together with Missy or, well, any other living thing.

SMC: Let's be friends!
Missy: Fuck off.
SMC: Friends! Friends! Friends! FRIENDS! FRIENDS! FRIENDS!FRIENDS FOREVERRRRRRRR!
Missy: *Claws his face*
SMC: *Stunned look* Friends?

And this exchange happened several times, with small variations. He tried it on us while we slept, because he was too afraid to make friends with humans while we were awake. He would climb on our beds and scream FRIENDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! in our ears until we threw him out. He hid in cupboards and covered clothes with thick white fur. He threw up occasionally because that's just what he did. He was socially and physically awkward.

Even my crippled bunny was never such a pain in the arse. Yet we all felt sorry for Simple Minded Cat because of his traumatic past (although I vehemently do not condone the use of 'traumatic past' in excusing shitty human behaviour), because he was just a helpless kitten at the time. And although he was now the size of a very large beagle, he had not seemed to have any brain growth past the kitten stage when he came out of the washing machine.

He was a hopeless wreck.

Stay tuned for Part Two of the Simple Minded Cat. If I ever write it.

Sonnet 116

I will not be a rock in the path of streams
Flowing to a river. A love is not whole
Which lives only in foolish dreams
Or wades through storms for nought.
No, it is a stubborn child
Clinging to its mother in a watery grave
A father watching the night
Hope's faithful slave
That cannot be numbered in longing's worth
Time has no hand upon love, though the image wanes
And the warping of age comes too soon
Love clings at the depths of the ocean heart,
Bearing out even to the edge of doom.
If love proves to be less than all these
Then I am a fool, and should be drowned for it.

And Then There Were Two

Best love story ever.

The Only Good Thing About This Movie is Micheal Fassbender

X-Men: First Class. Let me tell you how I felt when I first heard this news. I thought, Oh, which first class will they choose? The one that perished on Krakoa? The one that everyone knows: Jean Grey, Scott Summers, Hank McCoy, Bobby Drake and WWIII? Or would they base it on the animated series that made up much of my Saturday mornings?

Now I realise I was being over-optimistic. Of course! I watched the trailers and knew the movie would suck. The timeline was wrong. The characters were wrong. It was all wrong.

But I would still watch it, because what kind of X-Men fan would I be if I did not watch it, regardless of how horrendous and spitworthy it is?

Spitworthiness:

1. Cheese. So much cheese. I could have brought nachos and had enough protein to put on it just from the bromance between Charles and Erik. Everyone is so cute and chirpy and all-together- now. It's so cheesy all the goop makes me numb to the fact that the mutant issue was supposed to be a reflection of the AIDS epidemic. But screw that right. It was like watching The Famous Five With Superpowers.

Tastier than watching First Class

2. Sorry but this: Banshee wasn't Irish (Then why choose Banshee? If he was American wouldn't he have just called himself Sonic?). Angel was in the New X-Men. Mystique was certainly never part of the founding X-Men team. Wrong Summers brother (TWO of them were in either founding team and they had to choose the one who wasn't). Darwin (just. WTH). I saw no purpose to the agent being named Moira McTaggert. You could have named her Lorna Dane or Maria Hill and it would have made no difference.

I thought casting was important. But I guess he'll grow into it.

3. Is this X-Men or White-Men? Because they got rid of the two non-white characters pretty quickly, what with Darwin dying (I'm sorry, but wasn't his power, like, not dying?) and Angel switching sides. Everyone is white. It's boring.

What do you mean I'm not part of the main cast? I'm in the original First Class dammit!

4. Sometimes I didn't know whether I was watching a co-ed version of Mallory Towers or a 'serious' movie. The preciousness of the 'teens' was jarring in comparison to the so-called heavy issues this movie was supposedly handling. Also, I hate preciousness and a more awkward and chemistry-less bunch of young adults I haven't yet seen.

5. January Jones. Everyone's complained about it so why shouldn't I? As Emma Frost she's about as sexy and titillating as llama spit. And I don't understand why they even put her in her diamond form because a. it was a secondary mutation that didn't appear until the destruction of Genosha and b. it was obviously just for show because Jones, unlike McAvoy, doesn't look smart enough to be a telepath. Am I starting to look vacant? DIAMOND FORM! There is only so much squinty eyes the woman can convincingly do.

This is sexy.

This is awkward.

6. Are they following the main Marvel timeline or the Ultimates? If Ultimates, I know nothing of it and cannot comment. If main, then the timeline is irritating. An obvious example:
Here, Emma Frost is the subservient partner to Shaw while in normal time she is dating Scott Summers. Is Scott Summers even born yet in this movie? And is this completely separate from the previous X-Men movies? I thought this was supposed to be a 'prequel' of sorts. But in Wolverine, Emma made an appearance, same age as Cyclops, and the Prof was in a wheelchair. I don't understand.

7. It's just a movie. Why am I nitpicking? I should just sit back and enjoy it. Sorry. If they wanted to make a movie about a bunch of superpowered hotties, they could have gone The Incredibles route and created their own characters. The characters I see in this movie are so far from their original purpose so as not to be relevant to the actual character they are based on. Which to me makes the whole movie pointless. Don't make a movie based on a franchise and expect people to have no expectations.

Hugworthy:

1. Micheal Fassbender (except in the end scene. corn to go with the cheese, please).

Nevertheless, my brother who also felt as I did when we first saw First Class did assure me that the movie gets better after you watch it again.

Bali

I went to Bali in May, together with Seth. It was amazing. The food was great, the people were nice, and I got proposed to.

I took a lot of pictures driving from the airport to Ubud, because I am such a jakun. But I enjoyed being a tourist. Sort of. (Are you still considered a tourist-tourist if it's just next door? I like to think so).

When we got to our rooms, we were positively in awe. You're so used to rooms just being rooms in a building that when you get the lower floor of a small villa (which is a room, as it were) it's so nice. Plus we overlooked a small plot of sawah padi. So rustic.

By the way, this is probably the only place on earth I didn't live in constant fear of getting mugged. After our tour guide showed up (he turned out to be a replacement tour guide and I was convinced he was an impostor who was going to drive us to a secluded place, rob us of our belongings and throw our remains into some jungle river) and he did none of the things I mentioned, and was also very polite, I figured it was going to be pretty okay. And it was!

The food there was delicious, or maybe it was the Holiday Stomach thing. But the pork ribs at Nury's Naughty were ridiculously delicious. When I came back I was sad for awhile because I couldn't seem to eat the same amount as I did in Bali, and with similar relish. This means the only way I can put on weight is through regular travelling ahahaha.

We went to so many temples, now that I look at the photos the only I recognise is Tanah Lot. And Besakih, because I look like I'm trying not to kick the guide who is taking our pictures in the balls. That would be because Besakih is a rip off. I'm still upset we had to pay rm 150 for a 'blessing'. My Sunday collections at church don't even amount to that much annually! Will my god engage his god in a smackdown? We shall see.

The markets were just as I had hoped they would be - lots of paintings! Admittedly Seth and I need to brush up on our haggling skills.

Seth: It's okay, they need to feed their children.

HAH.

And on the last day, we had cold stone creamery ice cream. It was the most delicious ice cream I had ever tasted in my life. Truth. Peanut butter and Oreo and milky yummy ice cream (i forgot what flavour. Probably butterscotch or something. The peanut butter shines clearly in my mind though).

Ah happy days !

Part of the amazing view from our villa-room.

We ended up eating Italianish food on our first night. Food there rocks!

One of the temples around Tanah Lot.

Civet cat. Want! Look at his cute smiley eyes!

Not-kicking-guide-in-nuts face

<3!

*sigh*

Not In The Flesh

I went to BookeXcess and promptly vomited out a hundred bucks for 8 books. Man, I love that place.

In a desire to make myself more productive, I swore to review every book I had bought once I had read them. First up is Not in the Flesh, A Wexford Novel.

Wexford, if you don't know, is Kingsmarkham's Chief Inspector. He's old and intelligent and fat and quite aware of all his shortcomings. The series sort of shows how he changes slowly from an almost unbearable know-it-all prig to a wiser, more sympathetic character (and by slowly I mean this series is more than 40 years old and only now is Wexford making an effort in drinking wine rather than drowning in beer for his health).

Dalgliesh when he was young (according to me)

That's the thing about these super long running series' like Dalgliesh and Wexford; things of course change, his own personality evolves, and the main character feels the encroachment of modernity, the cultural influences of the immigrants, the introduction of kids-these-days as characters. Sometimes I don't like it because I'm the type who likes things to stay the same forever but it's necessary to the relevancy of the book.

NITF opens up with an unidentified skeleton in a field owned by a really irritating and bitter old guy. Wexford and a new character, Hannah, investigate. Even the pathologist is new! *sob* Half the book goes on while Wexford, Hannah and Burden (his trusty and sharply dressed sidekick) try to figure out who exactly the body is.

And then another body shows up in the abandoned bungalow on the same field. Basically everyone's crying 'Potter's Field' and then Kay Scarpetta is brought in. Kidding. They get a lead from a newspaper that has printed excerpts from a book about a girl whose father went missing at about the same time one of the skeletons was thought to have popped its clogs.

The rest of it is mostly them interviewing the neighbours that abutt the field, and that is usually the best part. The characters are always so interesting, sometimes ridiculous, sometimes sympathetic. It's so much fun just reading crime because the people involved become studies of character - depending on the writer la of course.

There's also a side story about the Somali community that has been growing in Kingsmarkham, and Wexford's daughter's involvement in awareness about female circumcision that is apparently still practiced by the community that had come to the UK.

Rendell's books are usually sympathetic, with sympathetic and/or pathetic characters. As Barbara Vine, her books can be a bit too depressing for me to enjoy, but in Wexford you have a character that, though involved, will come out in the end untouched by the human miseries and horribleness that abound as the story unfolds.