More of Note to Myself in the Future if I Once Again End Up With a Vaderlike Animal

I'm sure everyone is curious about what happened to my super-adorable bunnies Obi Wan (Ben) Kenobi and Darth Vader (I'm also pretty sure whoever reads this blog - all four of you - already know, but I'm using that line for the story's sake).

Ben is fat and Vader is crippled. They also have new nicknames: Chickenshit and EmoBunny.

I wanted to upload pics of happier times, but by the time I took the photos from Seth's laptop, Vader's condition had deteriorated so much that putting up the pics would have been false advertising.

Vader is an unfortunate victim of Swimmer's Syndrome/Splaylegs (and also useless breeders who inbreed bunnies and cause this horrible genetic problem. Bunch of twats). It affects both his back legs so that instead of curling up beneath him, they splay out.

At first Seth and I were just sad that we had a disabled critter, because he couldn't hop around and be happy like he used to be. He got depressed and moody (although not as useless and cowardly as Ben), but he seemed otherwise okay. I mean aside from the fact that he couldn't walk properly. Or clean himself. Or hop. Basically, no rabbitlike things.

But we thought we'd only have to deal with his emotional issues - as long as I kept the cage clean and just let him be, he'd be fine. Little did we know that taking no steps to alleviate his fall to the dark side would cause the uprising of the greatest evil this galaxy has ever known.

Just kidding (but I blame YOU, Natalie Portman). We soon realised that keeping a crippled bunny wasn't just a matter of being compassionate enough not to put him down or dump him when we flipped him over one day and found the fur around his butt and leg had matted together, and in some places, worn off to the skin.

The first few days, we were pretty gung ho about it, cleaning him up ourselves, making sure he didn't have poop stuck on him (which is really gross when you come to think of it, but rabbit poo is the most hygienic animal poo I have ever seen and would recommend getting a bunny just based on that). And then one day I was cleaning him while Seth was holding him and then we realised that his lower body was deformed.

I know you're thinking Duh, of course it's deformed. It's a bloody cacat rabbit isn't it?? And that would be right. But we thought it was just the legs, whereas the whole tail and lower body section had just sort of caved in into itself because the shape of the legs and hips weren't in its normal positions. And the more I looked at it, the more it freaked me out.

We were convinced his lower half would become infected by the dirt and gunk he couldn't (and we couldn't either) consistently clean off himself, and then we'd have a half-rotted bunny dragging himself around by his front paws to deal with.

DO YOU SEE THAT IN YOUR MIND'S EYE???? I ALMOST HAD A ZOMBIEFIED BUNNY!!

We then got scared and carted Vader off to the doctor's for the hundredth time (I think he recognises us). Thankfully we didn't have to do away with our little (potential) zombunny. We just had to put him in a cage with no bedding (replace it with rubber bathroom mat thingies), and bathe him twice a week.

For the next 4 to 8 years.

I suggested immediate stew, but no one wanted it on account of the pus. But having to give him bunny baths twice a week is a lot better, I think, than having to put down that sweet little rabbit (looks evilly at Chickenshit).

Throughout the whole ordeal, we ignored Ben. He didn't care, because unlike Vader, he has no personality (unless chickenshit is a personality).