Although I should be doing work right now, I felt I needed to write this down first.
I have come up with an awesome Santa myth for my future children.
Instead of some chubby dude in a sleigh on Christmas Eve, we'll have a Warrior Santa who rides in on a DRAGON on the 1st of December, bearing the first gift of the season.
Our children will be brought outside to witness Samurai Santa place the first gift under the Christmas tree, and then they will kneel and offer trays of...offerings to the warrior before he leaves (I haven't really thought it through, but I'm going with 'through the front door'). Then he'll get on his dragon and ride off into the night, but the kids can't see this part because if they catch a glimpse of the dragon they'll go blind and their goldfish will die.
Occasionally if Warrior Santa can't get out of the office in time, Ninja Santarina on her flying Pegacow will help out with the presents.
Imagine this:
Other child: So did Santa bring you lots of presents?
My Son: What are you talking about? He only brings the first present. Your parents give the rest.
Other child: Cries.
Other other child: That's not true! Santa comes to our sweltering tropical country on a sleigh powered by reindeers and drops off our presents on the night before Christmas!
My Son: Santa rides a Dragon, you nitwit. Haven't you seen him before??
Other other child: Have you?
My Son: Yeah. Yeah, I've seen Santa.
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