Be A Shallow Person Day

Yesterday was Be A Pterodactyl Day
As today cannot possibly be as inspired as yesterday, it is a shitty day.
So I will make a bitchy list.
Two, in fact.
The first will be 5 People Who Should Always Show Up On Those Beauty Lists.
The second will be 5 People Who Always Show Up On Those Beauty Lists, But You Have No Idea Why They Are There.

5 People Who Should Always Show Up On Those Beauty Lists

1. Natalie Portman

She's gorgeous, talented and smart. Also, beautiful. Almost perfect-looking, actually.

2. Natalie Portman

See? Gorgeous riiight?

3. Natalie Portman

Just to make sure that people take note.

4. Emily Blunt

She should have been Black Widow! Not Boob On A Stick over there.

5. Megan Fox

Oh please. Yes, she's skanky. Yes, she's slutty. Also possibly brainless. So? She's still pretty right?

5 People Who Always Show Up On Those Beauty Lists But You Have No Idea Why They Are There

1. Katy Perry

The reason why she keeps getting voted into these things is because no one is actually looking at her face.

2. Rachel Bilson

Oh hai! I have a bobble head and am on/off engaged to Anakin Skywalker. I also like to prance around in designer wear despite being jobless and talentless. I guess these gives me a spot on Those Beauty Lists for some obscure reason. Nothing whatsoever to do with actually being beautiful.

3. Keira Knightley

I really can't stand Keira Knightley. The feeling I have for her, in fact, is probably close to hate. I cannot watch any movie she's in without mocking her constipated performance after that. I always felt she rode on the wave of 'Natalie Portman Lookalike' without actually having to be as good an actress.
All she does is pout throughout her movies, and act like she's some kind of hot smartass. I hate people like that in real life, and therefore I hate people who act those kind of roles.

Especially if it is the only role they act in, therefore not making it a role anymore, but the actor's actual personality aka inability to act.

Basically, whatever. I hate her guts so much I didn't put up a picture and would throw iguana poo at her if I ever had the misfortune of meeting her.

4. Julia Roberts

If these lists were a competition for Irish Setters, I would understand why she is on them.
I actually have no problem with her. I just feel that she's on these lists because she made a movie decades ago named 'Pretty Woman' and for some reason everyone started thinking she's pretty.
When she isn't.

5. Jennifer Aniston
When inanimate objects like potato sacks start making the Most Beautiful Lists, you know that our standard of superficial beauty has dropped to an all time low.

Honorable Mention

Justin Bieber

Because its gender has so far been indeterminate, I am putting it on this list because I am sick of seeing it on Most Beautiful Lists when it is clearly doing a very lame job of being an attractive human who can sing.

Disclaimer: I am basing this purely on looks. I don't care that Julia Roberts is very classy or that Katy Perry has a heart of gold or whatever. They're not beautiful. So they should not be on these lists. Also, they are all women. Because I think it's weird to call a guy beautiful.

I didn't even bother listing Sarah Jessica Parker because everyone knows what a joke that is.