Avatar: (Hopefully) The Last M. Night Movie. Ever.

Short Review (in Vit's words): Like Eclipse all over again. Except with benders instead of vampires.

Long Review:

NO SPOILER ALERT (If you insist on watching this movie after what I reveal to you, you deserve to have it spoiled)

Scene 1

Two kids, completely unrecognisable as Sokka and Katara, are looking for food. They stumble upon some bald kid and a giant horned beaver with too many legs.
They take him back to their village.
At first we think they are at the wrong village, because everyone else there looks eskimo (eskima? eskimite? inuit?). But people don't seem to be trying to cast the white devils out with fire. I suppose their "uniqueness" is the reason why Katara is the ONLY WATERBENDER IN THE WHOLE CLAN, and why they stumbled upon Aang.
White people, you know. They're lucky. And not just with the native girls.

There are several expository conversations throughout, but you won't care because the only reason they're talking is to justify their paycheck. You can still understand the story if you watched this movie on mute.

Scene 2

Bad guys (with the only actor who can act) show up. Take Aang away. Sokka and Katara go after them and save Aang with the help of the flying furry centipede.
They then end up at an Earthbender village where the people are being kept prisoner. How are they being kept prisoner? Like that lor. They are wandering around in their own village, being poked about a bit by the guards. Still, they're on dry land, innit?
EARTHbenders. On dry LAND. ALL IN ONE PLACE. And they never thought, Hey. Wtf man. I'm a gonna turn all you Firebending idiots into balls of dirt until you suffocate, die and leave my people alone forever.
It takes some bald 12 year old to tell them - 'Your power is beneath you! You don't have to be treated like this!' thus proving everyone in BendingLand are idiots and deserve to be conquered.

Scene 3
I don't remember or care much about what happened at this point. But the graphics were pretty cool.

Scene 4

They go to the Northern Water Tribe, a stronghold that has never been attacked by the Fire Nation because of the strength of their people. But because Aang is there, the Fire Nation attacks. They attack using ships.
The water people panic. They are afraid they cannot defeat the fire people, and their princess and kingdom will be slaughtered. Fortunately a dragon appears to Aang in a vision and tells him to use the power of the ocean...
.
.
.
no. shite. sherlock. I would never have thought of that. It's not like the NWT IS SURROUNDED BY OCEAN. AND THAT THE CITY IS FULL OF WATERBENDERS.

Scene 5
The princess dies in a long-drawn out scene where the guy playing General Iroh is wondering why the hell he's in this movie exchanging lines with a bunch of cardboard cutouts, but nobody cares because they're all too busy bowing to Aang, who has finally accepted his fate as the familyless, all-powerful Avatar.

I'd like to say I don't care, but I cared enough to write this review.
I care about you to help you make the right choice in life.