I'm giving Ben away. For reals this time. The bunny, not my brother. So I put him up on Petfinder. At first I was so guilty about it, I was going to give him away for free. After half a dozen calls asking whether they could pick up the cute bunny immediately, I realised I had missed my target audience: responsible people (quite unlike myself).
After much complaining, I was advised by Mum and the Oracle to place an adoption fee to make sure that not every Tom Dick and Harry would be calling to get their paws on my sensitive little critter, and so I did.
Aside from one message accusing me of being insincere for charging money, it went well in rooting out the fluff. So I had two candidates over for a viewing. First was a cute Indon student and her entourage. She had cared for bunnies before and didn't seem to mind that Ben was antisocial and kind of a prick.
The other was a family whose matriarch had insisted on seeing the bunny. I felt bad, and so agreed to let her come.
DING DONG
Me: *Opens door to see five people standing outside* Er. Come in.
CHECKING OUT CUDDLY BUNNY
Me: So, he's not very friendly (might as well be honest) but he lets you hold him and he doesn't poop everywhere unlike the cripple there.
Woman: OMG SO CUTE *grabs bunny* So can we take him now???
Me: Uh. Okay. You're okay with the adoption fee?
Woman: There's an adoption fee? I thought you were giving it to me for free.
Me: *what the...* Did you not read the ad?
Woman: Ha ha ha. Yes, but I messaged you and said I preferred it without the fees.
Me: *O RLY??* Well, it's a hundred bucks. And he only eats this expensive food.
SHOWS NUMMY BUNNY FOOD
Woman: Would you take fifty for the bunny? Ha ha ha.
Me: Er. No. Coz I don't want people who can't afford to bring him to the doctor in case he has one of his paranoid constipation moments.
Woman: You know, we came so far. All the way from Puchong (WOW.PUCHONG.DAMN FAR WEI), and we picked up the kids from Klang to come all the way here. Don't you feel sorry for us?
Me: *WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING??* Okay...
Woman: We promise to take gooood care of it. And take it to the vet in case of life threatening illnesses.
Me: Let me talk to my mum (because I have no spine).
WITH MUM
Mum: Just tell them no.
Me: But Maaaaaaaaaaa...so kesian.
Mum: Kesian for what? If they can't afford to pay adoption fees how are they going to take care of him?
Me: :(
Mum: Fine. Be a pussy. Ask them for 75 then.
OUTSIDE
Ben (the brother):*whisper* Dude. You can't give Ben to them. I can't believe she keeps asking you to give it to her for free.
Me: Okay Woman. I can give it to you for 75.
Woman: 75? That's so much. You might as well give it to us for 50. Ha ha ha.
Me: No.
Woman: Why don't you give it to us for free? Can't you see we're wonderful people who will love, respect and cherish this soft toy...I mean living creature? I messaged you about not wanting the fees and you replied.
Me: Sorry.
Woman: Okay, we have rm 70. See, I even had to ask my children. Ha ha ha. Don't you feel sorry for us? So I'll give you 70, okay?
Me: Sorry, it's 75.
Woman: It's only 5 bucks.
Me: *Yeah, but I don't like you* No. There's an ATM across the street though.
Woman: Ha ha ha. But we'll have to drive out. It's far! And then we'll have to turn back again. It's too much trouble.
Me: *Kind of speechless* So do you want the bunny or not?
Woman: No.
THEY LEAVE
For some reason I felt insulted. I felt like me and my bunny had been disrespected. I can't say I love Ben with all my heart and will only let the second coming of Mother Teresa adopt him but I surely don't want people who, for some reason I can't explain, don't seem like they care about his wellbeing aside from him looking cute.
I was bitching to my brother about how she had come here with no cash, KNOWING there was an adoption fee, expecting me to give it to her for free. What am I running, a charity for used clothes? Then I realised she was the same woman who had accused me for being insincere and that made me even more upset.
TEN MINUTES LATER
DING DONG
Woman: Okay, we'll give you 65 ringgit and 10 Brunei dollars.
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