True Marvels

I'm sure everyone watched Iron Man 2. The most important part of the movie was, of course, the appearance of Thor's hammer and Captain America's shield.
And Robert Downey Jr.

Therefore, it's no surprise that the Thor movie (with Natalie Portman. Side note: Why is Portman playing that nurse in Thor? I don't even remember her name. GIVE PORTMAN HER OWN SUPERHERO MOVIE. I suggest Domino. Or any other leatherclad character) and the Captain America movie is coming out.

But what's this?A Black Widow movie?
Wait a second. Didn't a lot of people (including myself) have a problem with Booblett Boobhansson playing the Russian spy? Didn't we originally want the lesser known but better talented Emily Blunt to be BW? And didn't every single thing I said about ScarJo's performance come true?

Of course it did. I am psychic.

Then I realised I was being unrealistic (and also kind of lame). In Hollywood, talent is often confused with other things. For example: drug addiction (River Phoenix), trashiness (Megan Fox), douchebaggery (Tom Cruise [except for Minority Report]) and assuming-your-audience-is-stupid (Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler).

In Scarlett's case, it's Boobs.
(I don't think I actually needed to type that out. But I had to make sure that the connection between Scarlett and her Boobs is clear).

Ah. I am so glad to have gotten that off my chest
*
*
*
*booooom tish!*

When they are so many more deserving Marvel characters than a minor Avengers heroine (anti-heroine? former villain? villoine?), I can only put forward the above explanation as to why this movie is even being made. It just so happens that Scarlett is playing her.

Yeah, we're really impressed with your boobs.
I meant martial arts skills.

She could have been any character, and it would not have made a difference. Despite portraying the least personality amongst all of the cast, she still gets her movie. But I think humanity has made it pretty clear - who needs personality when you can have Boobs! And Boobs in PVC too!

This is how I imagine the discussion of her movie went down.

ScarJo: I want a Black Widow movie.

Movie studio execs:

Yes.

In that case, I would suggest my favourite Avenger, Scarlet Witch, to be portrayed by Christina Hendricks to ensure that she gets her own movie.

And sequels. Possibly we can even squeeze a tv series in there.