Autobots, stop falling on the phonelines

The other day, my wireless stopped working.
I felt like the world had ended.
If you are laughing, then I assume you don't live in Cyber, have a car and a healthy internet connection.
Sucks to you, by the way.

So, like any good customer, I called TMnet.
I called them four times.

Call #1

Auto voice: bla bla bla press 1 etc irrelevant details. Enter your area code, tmnet line and press hash.
Me: Hey Jun, what's our area code?
Jun: Huh? What? Uh uh...I don't know. Area code? Erm.
Auto voice: You have entered invalid data. Bleep bleep bleep. Bleep.

Phoneline is disconnected.

Call #2

Auto voice: bla bla bla -
Jun: Wait, I know.

2 minutes later

Jun: Here, there's a human being on the other end.
Me: Awesome. Hello?
TMnet Human: Hello bla bla TMnet bla bla help you?
Me: Yeah. Our wireless isn't working.
TMnet Human: bla bla bla bla
Me: What?
TMnet Human: bla bla bla phoneline.
Me: Huh?

TMnet Human: Your phoneline sucks. Would you like to lodge a service report on your phoneline?

Me: No!

TMnet Human: bla bla bla phoneline.
Me: Huh?

TMnet Human: Plug the goddamn phone directly into your goddamn wall socket, you bloddy retard.

Phoneline is disconnected.

Call #3

Auto voice: bla bla bla -
Me: Cursing TMnet in the deepest dredges of my cheery, rainbow-filled soul.
TMnet Human: Hello! bla bla bla -
Me: Yeah, my wireless is not working.
TMnet Human: Hmm. Okay. Bla bla bla switch on your laptop and do this this this
Me: Thank god!
TMnet Human: Okay? And then you -

Phoneline is disconnected.

Call #4

Auto voice: WE ARE DECEPTICONS, COME TO TAKE OVER YOUR DINKY, OILY PLANET! AHAHAHA!
Me: I FRICKING KNEW IT!!!!
Auto voice: YOU HAVE NO ESCAPE! YOU WILL BE SQUISHED LIKE FLEAS! WHEN THEY ARE CAUGHT! OR WHEN THEY FALL OFF YOUR DOG FROM THE FLEA POISON AND WRITH ON THE FLOOR, AWAITING DEATH!!
Me: OH YEAH??!!....I LIKE CATS BETTER!
Auto voice: DAMN YOU CAT LOVERS, RUINING OUR NEFARIOUS PLANS!!!

Yeah. I wish.

TMnet Human: Bla bla bla bla blinking lights bla bla bla what is the name of your modem?
Me: Huh?
TMnet Human: The name of your modem
Me: Gives name of modem
TMnet Human: Ahh okay hmm ermmm so we'll get back to you either tomorrow or in two days time with your new modem
Me:....There's something wrong with the modem?
TMnet Human: Yes
Me: You can't fix it from there?
TMnet Human: No
Me: I have to survive FOR ONE DAY WITHOUT THE INTERNET???
TMnet Human: Uh. Yes.
Me: Fine. Okay. Bye.
TMnet Human: Uh. Bye.