Brainfreeze

I watched Clash of the Titans recently.
There's no point me trying to summarise the story, because we didn't notice much of one.
So I'll just give you a fair, balanced judgement of pros and cons.

FAIL

1. The Titan story - wrongwrongWRONG! Does no one READ in Hollywood?

2. Hades' story - Please. These people make the gods sound like squabbling siblings in some lame soap opera. True story(sort of) - Zeus defeated the Titans. Then the three brothers; Zeus, Poisedon and Hades wanted to rule the earth. Hekate said eff off. They then divided heaven, the oceans and the underworld between them. The end.

3. WTF ARMOUR??????????????????????????????????
Did we accidentally walk into Gladiator?

4. Sam Worthington. Just...Sam Worthington.

5. Io. Just to be clear, babe. Wrong myth. Also, wrong curse.

6. Acrisius. And Danae. ARghbekbwhvduvaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. That's all I have to say.

7. Are they pimps with a metal and bad hairdo fetish, or are they GREEK GODS?

8. Scorpions? City of the Dead? DJINN? Wait, let me check the ticket...yeah, it says Clash of The Titans...NOT The Mummy 4. or 5 or whatever.

9. Perseus has a sword that can kill any mortal thing. Does he use it? Yes, after HIS WHOLE REGIMENT HAS BEEN SLAUGHTERED BY CREATURES HE COULD HAVE EASILY DESTROYED WITH HIS AWESOME SWORD WERE HE NOT SUCH A HUGE WHINY PRICK.

10. Pegasus. is. white. you morons.

11. The Fates. No reason really. Just felt like picking on everything.

12. I felt like I was watching a multiple level computer game, and the Kraken was the Big Boss.

13. Kraken. Andromeda. Hades. Argos?

14. Okay, I'll stop nitpicking basic mythology that anyone making a whole movie out of it should know about. But could you please have a lamer ending. No really. It was lame.

WIN

1. The scorpion thingies had eight legs, thus proving hollywood really does care about the little details.

In fact there are so many things that fail in this movie, not particularly Io's stunning changes of clothing while they ran across desert, hills, Hell and cliffs, that my brain stopped working completely after awhile.
Yeah, I know. It's only in it's absence that I realise that I DO have one. Anyway. The last time that happened was GI Joe.
I rest my case.