Human Stain

Fighting wildly against our fates,
Spiralling through life, and love, and dreams
Falling through everything it seems

Shattered halos rain full down
We watch and weep; what we have been
And our hopes are scattered into the earth
Feeding the monsters we gave birth

So if there's a loving hand above
Why weren't we caught and given love
Why insist we fall so far
What are we all doing in the same bar?
Is there a holy light shining through the beer
Is there any light...
Sorry, no miracles here

With our fragile hands and breakable wings
Shouldn't we be doing greater things.

Greatest Motivational Speech of the 21st Century

Doesn't matter what the press says.

Doesn't matter what the politicians say or the mobs say.

Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right.

This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement to stand up for what we believe in, no matter the odds or the consequences.

When the mob and the press and the whole world tells you to move, your job is to set yourself beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world,

'No, you move'.

- Captain America

Those Kind of Eyes

I picked up some stray kittens a few days ago.
I found myself talking a lot to God.
He wasn't very helpful.
But He gives good hugs.

Me: Why in Your Name did You make me pick up those kittens?? I can’t help them! They’re BLIND! And they can’t even pee on their own…

God: It’s called having some humanity. And not much common sense.

Me: Yeah, You made them cute so that they would appeal to the nurturing side of humans. Then some poor sod will pick their little bodies up and bring them home in a Maggi box. And then? I’m not a mother cat! I don’t have six nipples! I’m not even lactating! They’ll die in the night while I sleep, and what purpose would that serve?

God: Eh, hello. You think that just because I coughed in your direction and gave you a soul means living would be easy is it? Choices are not supposed to be easy. You are supposed to put some thought in it. You are human right? Not an ant?...You’re not an ant, are you?

Me: No, I am not an ant.

God: Good. Sometimes I forget. I didn’t want to insult you if you were an ant and I had missed out your evolution into bipedal automatons with vocal chords.

Me, slightly confused: But…You just described humans.

God: Oh…That was certainly not my intention. At all. This is not a witty social commentary, or anything of that sort. After all, who am I to tell you what’s what.

Me: …

*

Me: Well, they all died.

God: I’m sorry to hear that.

Me: I guess they’re in a better place.

God: I guess.

Me: ………………………………………..what do You mean You guess????????????????

God: If I told you everything, you might as well be God, innit?

Me: ARGH.

*

God: How are you doing then?

Me: I’m fine. Totally fine. Thanks.

God: Here’s a hug.

*hug*

God: It’s also called a slight restoration of faith. You’ll have to give it time.

Me: You never give us enough time.

God: I always give you just enough.

*

My Feather Light Heart

I discovered this song...I forgot where. But it's on the ost of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Just like Imogen Heap. Nyahh.

Anyway, it's such a small, lovely song. It was necessary to share it.

Where - Lisbeth Scott

Man of the Day

Today at lunch, our coworker James was telling us about the few years he spent growing up in a Oil Palm Plantation in Kelantan.

Why am I telling you this?
Because in James' stories lived the most badass man ever.

The Cobra Story

James: There was one time I was walking with my sister. Then she suddenly stopped and started walking backwards. I was wondering what was wrong with her. Then she ran off screaming. So I just thought she was being weird.

Us: Omg. Your sister left you to die!!!!!

James: Then I turned around and there was a cobra there. But it was okay. I didn't move or poke it or anything, so it just sat there, minding it's own business. And then my uncle shot it in the head.

Us: WTF faces

James: Can you imagine? I was just a kid. I don't like snakes now.

The Crocodile Story

James: I don't like crocodiles either. There was this pond on the plantation. One day, my sister and I were just walking around the pond, and then I saw a log. It was big, and it was drifting towards my dog, who was paddling around. The log kept drifting faster and faster towards my dog. And then my uncle shot it in the head. The log was a crocodile.

The Soup Story

James: So then after the crocodile's carcass floated to the surface, they dragged it out of the water. They skinned it and hung out to dry in front of my uncle's place.

Us: Ewww.

James: I went over to my uncle's place, and my aunt was making soup. I can't speak Chinese, and she can't speak English, so she just served me some soup. I love soup. So I just sat down and happily ate it lah. And it was so delicious.

Us: Oh man...

James: Then I tried to ask her where she got the chicken from, because it was so fat and juicy. The chickens on the plantation all look like they gonna die d. Then my mum came over, so I asked her to ask my aunt.

Mum: James, you know what soup is that?
James: Chicken lah! It's very nice! Want some?
Mum: James...you remember or not the crocodile that they took out of the pond this morning? And hung in front there?
James:..Yeah. Why.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................oh.

Although the last story was not relevant to badassery, I think you can imagine what kind of person James' uncle is.
A badass kind of person.

This is what I think excerpts from his autobiography would sound like:

*

page 31

Today I saw a tiger. I shot it. It died.
I ate it.

*

page 56

Today an armadillo made eye contact with me. I shot it. It ran. I shot it until it stopped running.
And then I ate it.

*

page 74

Today my gun didn't work. I had to stomp a monitor lizard to death.

*

James' uncle, this is something I rarely get to say to living, non-fictional people:

You are badass.

Ray Serene

The curfew tolls the knell of parting day,
The lowing herd winds slowly o'er the lea,
The ploughman homeward plods his weary way,
And leaves the world to darkness and to me.

Full many a gem of purest ray serene

The dark unfathom'd caves of ocean bear:

Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,

And waste its sweetness on the desert air.

Far from the madding crowd's ignoble strife,
Their sober wishes never learn'd to stray;
Along the cool sequester'd vale of life
They kept the noiseless tenour of their way.

Thomas Gray

Elegy Written in a Country Church-Yard

Lacrimosa Concubine Dumbledore

Can we please stop being emo now? Stop stopstop. No, really. I don't care that emo songs have the best lyrics, I don't care that being emo makes me feel, I don't care that I don't care, or that I care.

I'm Too Awesome To Be Emo.
And So Are You.
All Of You.

Take a deep breath.
Stop being sad. Stop kicking yourself. Stop feeling all those lousy feelings. Stop it. They're never going to turn into gold. They just turn into high blood pressure or visits to the psychiatrist. See? So unproductive. Go and take some Vitamin C please.

Let me help you, and myself, to be less emo (Dude, stop listening to Avenged Sevenfold. Please. And delete that A Fine Frenzy song I passed to you. They're all the devil's hand in disguise).

List Of Less Emo Stuff

1. Listen to Disney songs.
All of them. All day.

2. Watch How I Met Your Mother.
Every episode. When you're not at work.

3. Read My Life Is Average.
Do NOT read pleasefindthis.blogspot.com OR postsecret.blogspot.com. Don't even touch those links.

4. Wear a dress.
Applies to both genders. Heels optional.

5. I would suggest some type of exercise, but I know that people like you, you, you and I are just going to think about how miserable life is as they silently swim/ do situps/ jog/ whatever else it is people do as exercise. So. Do NOT EXERCISE. (Heh heh heh heh).

6. Potter Puppet Pals.

Ok, that's it. I'm not Dr Phil. Figure out your own self. There's only so much I can do to undo the curse of Damian Rice and his sap demon.