#4 Temporary Trials - Department of Redundancy Department

Spent the whole day making lists of closed cases, together with Aurora. Wondered for a moment if there was actually any point in me being there. But anyway.
Cases are very interesting, the worst and more bizarre, the more interesting. Further reinforces belief that most of humanity have no redeeming values.

There was a blackout at the office today. Lasted awhile. By the end of the first fifteen minutes, was taking back every word I said about conserving the environment by not using plastic bags, aerosol spray or AIR CONDITIONING.

Thank you, God, for creating AIR CONDITIONING.
I forgive you for creating Megan Fox, who enforces ridiculous expectations of hotness on all of womankind.

#3 Temporary Trials - Picasso In Words

Or maybe this is what lawyers should look like. Yep.

I think Henry Cavill and Hugh Dancy would make an excellent lawfirm.

Today completed going through each and every existing envelope regarding case. Found everything except core documents. Wonder if boss will dock my salary for not performing miracles.

Almost fell asleep in utilities room. Work is great to make you appreciate stuff. Like weekends. And sleep. And endless hours of dvd zombification.

Nearly finished Star Wars novel that I swiped from my brother while he slept. Sorry to find no Aylaa Securaa. Therefore felt no inspiration to become a better person. But did feel like Ewan McGregor too cute to play Obi-Wan in comparison to book character. Perhaps someone hairier would have been better.

Above and Beyond

The afterlife is interesting. Don't you think? Have you ever wondered what happens after we die?

Do we end, just like that? Regardless of the question whether God exists. For this theory, we shall assume God exists, because it is necessary for us to be created for us to die. And we must come from somewhere.

But does having a beginning guarantee us an ending, whether in heaven or hell? Do we believe that because God created us, therefore he is obliged to extend our existence into immortality?

Just as it is necessary for us to have been created, it is necessary also for us to believe that there is something beyond this earth if we are to believe in God.

A basic instinct, to believe that there is a greater force at work, just like ages ago, when they worshipped the sun, the rocks, the trees.
Belief is a necessity. Have we created our ending in the image that we would prefer; the righteous rewarded and the sinners doomed?

There are two questions here.

1. Does God exist?
2. What is the afterlife?

Obviously I can answer neither, but the first can be surmised by simple logic.

1. Evolution denotes a plan to our existence.
2. A plan requires a mind/ a purpose.
3. The mind/ purpose is what we know as God.

So there is a God, or an approximation of God. Is this God nice? Is this God compassionate? I don't know. Not having spoken to God directly, I cannot judge God's intentions, if God has any.

Now death is harder. A simple logic would be:

1. We are mass and energy.
2. Energy cannot be destroyed, only transferred or displaced.
3. The earth has not exploded from the energy of all the dead people, so it must go 'somewhere'.

Unfortunately, that is a simplistic way of trying to explain an afterlife. Our energy, after all, moves down the food chain as we are devoured by scavengers and microorganisms.

Therefore, there must be another energy, which I will call the soul. It is the hopes of those who believe in God that this soul doesn't just die with us, or become raccoon decaf.

But where does it go then, if not into the belly of the earth? Perhaps it goes into space? Do our souls add to the edges of the galaxy, making the universe bigger, becoming the threads of creation? Are some of us destined to be new stars and planets, to bear light and life?
Or are our souls taken to another dimension, the dimension of heaven?

(I am treating the idea of hell as emotional blackmail, and therefore irrelevant. If you have to be threatened with fear before you willingly do good, then it defeats the purpose of religion, and of humanity).

There is no answer to what is the afterlife. No one has come back and told us the joys of a host of angels, or the sound of the sky over some unknown planet.
Space, another dimension, an alternate reality.
Interesting isn't it?

The Sky, The Sky!

I have been feeling pretty down lately.
Basic premise of how down:

Like when Doyle sacrificed himself on Angel.
Like after I read Tess and realised nothing has changed.
Like when Hayden Christensen became Darth Vader.
Like when Dragonheart sacrificed itself, despite being the last of its kind.

See? Pretty sad.
So, I decided to be more optimistic. How? By thinking optimistic thoughts.
Example of optimistic thoughts:

Ewan McGregor might walk into the office tomorrow.
I might find inspiration to write a bestseller.
It might rain tomorrow.
I might meet a member of the landed gentry and he will sweep me off my feet and back to Ireland or whatever and a castle and a solid British education.
There might be a geographical anomaly and Sarawak will turn into Los Angeles.

Wow. That so did not work. Except maybe the first one.
But I do feel happier.
Weeeee.

#2 Temporary Trials - Darth Paper

My goodness, doesn't Chris Pine look exactly like a cute blonde asshole.

Woken up at ungodly hour by mother, who also had to go to work. Refused to wake up and went back to bed for another hour.


Arrived at work in time. Spent all day entombed in little library, looking through stacks of paper heavy enough to knock out bigfoot and his cousin. Did not find much relevant documents. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.


Working at lawfirm increasing violent tendencies. While reading affidavit, fervently hoped that defendants will run into Jack Bauer-like pain for being such useless human beings. Feel gravely disappointed in humanity. Need antidepressants. Sadly, clear copies of Star Trek have yet to appear.


Went home and watched first half hour of Star Wars: Attack of the Clones. Couldn't bring myself to finish watching because too boring and irritated with Jedi stupidity.

#1 Temporary Trials - The Paper Detective

I wish all lawyers looked like Hugh Dancy, but then I wouldn't

be able to pay attention. Or do any work. Or breathe.

Today was (actual) first day of work. Arrived at 8.40, believing work began at 8.30.
Information in the form of questioning a co-worker revealed work starts at 8. AM.
Oops.
Finally saw new chambering student. Said a little prayer in thanks that he does not look like a toad.


Was put to work searching for documents for a case. Apparently some originals had gone missing. Felt very Lord Peter Wimsey a la The Documents in the Case, albeit more paperish.
After three hours in freezing temperatures and a set of purple fingernails, felt more like a very unfortunate Watson. Or a polar bear. A naked polar bear.
Did not manage to find all the receipts either.
Hmm.


Went home at 5 pm with intention to watch Street Kings, because found out yesterday Keanu Reeves, Chris Evans and Hugh Laurie are all in it. Together.
Too tired to do anything but laze around.
Fail.

Moon Bloodgood

The live action movie for Blood is coming out in June.

This post isn't really about Moon Bloodgood. I just think her name is pretty awesome. It's like being named Kitty Ittybitty, except kickass.

I watched Terminator: Salvation.

So this is the plot outline (SERIOUS SPOILERS. IN FACT, I'M TELLING YOU EVERYTHING):
Marcus Wright, a criminal, is given a second chance (remember that, because they are going to use it as an excuse for Fantastic Racism) by Dr. Helena Bonham-Carter (looking less hot than usual). Why exactly signing up to become a lab rat is considered a second chance is beyond me.

John Connor and Co break into a SkyNet facility. Steal info. Find human prisoners. Everyone is blown up, except of course, John Connor.

Resistance Command tells Connor they have found a frequency that shuts down Terminators. Humanity is Saved! (but because it wasn't Connor who figured it out, you know it's going to fail). Connor finds out he has to save his dad-to-be, Kyle Reese.

Wright pops out of the desert, hooks up with Kyle, blows up a 20-storey Terminator and some Motorminators (I kid you not) and then loses Kyle. All the while looking pretty trim in his (stolen) trench coat.
And by trim, I mean sexy.

Wright then hooks up with Moon Bloodgood. Her character's name is so blah compared to her real name, I won't use it. They head to Connor's hideout, because Wright wants to rescue Kyle. He saves her life. He looks really nice in a t-shirt too.
And by nice, I mean sexy.

Our humourless, characterless and unsympathetic hero Connor strings Wright up when they find that he isn't totally human. He has a beating heart, but a motherboard installed in his brain. Wright believes he is human. Bloodgood, like any woman would, has fallen for Wright and his mysterious but kind ways. Also his cute butt. They bust out.

Connor finds Wright, but makes a deal. Wright helps him into SkyNet Central, and they bust Kyle out of there. Everyone's happy. Command then orders a hit on SkyCentral using their superfrequency waves. Connor disagrees. In a forced moment to show how much everyone loves Connor, because the audience sure as heck don't, several resistance fronts refuse to hit unless Connor gives the word.

Wright continues on his quest to discover who he is. The half robot look is not so charming on him.
By not so charming, I mean exactly that.

Wright gets in, gives Connor the location and gets kidnapped by SkyNet. While Connor is beaten to a pulp by naked Arnold Schwarzenegger while protecting Kyle, Wright goes on a journey of self-discovery. He has nice eyes. He's also possibly the only character in this movie with something approaching a personality. He pulls out his SkyNet chip and vows to help Connor.

They beat Arnie, but Connor is stabbed. Uh, like anyone cares. Using Connor's idea, they blow up SkyCentral before coptering off (Command blew themselves up with the frequency btw. Told you).

Apparently Connor will die without a heart. Cue audience rolling their eyes. Wright offers his heart, despite the fact that he had just found his humanity, fallen in love and proven to everyone what an all-round more useful and loving person he is in comparison to John Wangster over there.
And Connor, being the douche he is, accepts it.

The end.

1) What the hell were the people being kidnapped for anyway? Target practice?

2) Connor wouldn't even have bothered trying to save those people if his father-to-be wasn't among them, the sanctimonious prick.

3) Where does the Resistance practice their flying?

4) It's not okay for Connor to die, but it's okay for them to rip the heart out of a willing man just because he's half machine? What? They wouldn't allow that to happen to a human, unless said human was on the verge of dying. Androids have rights too.

#0 Temporary Trials

First day of work. Woke up at 7 something (am, ok? AM) to get ready.

Arrived at work before boss. Spent about an hour gossipping with former co-workers before Mum calls to inform me that I start work on Monday because boss is still in KL.

Wonder if God is laughing at me. Went home. Slept. Watched Terminator:Salvation. Watched Mamma Mia (again). Blogged.

Castiel Castiel Castiel

Behold, Castiel, Angel of Serious Hotness

This is what I have achieved this past few weeks:

1. watched all of Austin Powers movies (thanks, brother).
2. cooked an actual meal.
3. baked 3 cakes.
4. watched 26 episodes of Bleach.
5. bathed my cat.
6. watched several seasons of CSI and CSI: New York.
7. watched Push because of Chris Evans.
8. watched Tales of the Black Freighter, which is a ripoff. It should be 15-minute Tale of the Delusional Captain.
9. watched half of Supernatural season 5.
10. Castiel.

How did I exist without Supernatural before this? How did I face the world without knowing Castiel? How? It seems inconceivable. But I guess that word isn’t what I think it means (and if you can figure out which movie that’s from, buy yourself a lollipop, extra large).

Castiel, see, is the guy who pulled Dean out of hell. And yet, no one is very grateful to him (typical).

Poor dude. No wonder he looks so fricking miserable all the time. Which is part of his charm.

Although some people (since I’m at home, that would be limited to my mum) think that he looks pathetic and scruffy.

Well! If I was a an angel with doubts and God didn’t care, and the humans I keep saving don’t give a shit, I wouldn’t look like Mary Sunshine either! And if my partner was an asshat who kept trying to kill the human I went to so much trouble to save, plus if I had to kill my boss because I was told to, I wouldn’t be walking around looking like James Bond! I would walk around looking like Castiel.

Anyway.

The point I’m trying to make is that Castiel is so incredibly, depressingly cute.

He looks so worried all the time. His spiky hair makes him look about 21. His noir-detective shirt and beige trenchcoat are always sad looking. He looks like he’s too tired to shave more than once in two days.

I know, I know. He sounds like someone suffering from Major Depression. But he’s hot, so it’s okay for him to be psychologically afflicted.

Oh, and ohmygod, the actor who plays him is incredible. Seriously. He used the word euphemistically in an interview. I think I’m in love.