A Suitable Boy

I bet no one tells her she has to get married

I have had an interesting week. Although I have been sick for most of it, (which wasn’t so bad because the meds were dope and I got to sleep all day and not do chores hahaha).
The interesting part is that since last week my mother has been trying to get me married off.
No really.
Not even hooked up. Married off. To her best friend’s brother-in-law.

It started when we went to her BFF’s house. Over drinks:

Gossipgossipgossip suddenly…
Kiran (Mum’s BFF): Yeah, and mum asked if Samantha would be interested in marrying him…
Me: Choking on juice.
Kiran: But of course I told her she’s only twenty-three (like as if that isn’t positively ancient by Indian bride standards) hahaha.
Mum & Kiran: Hahahaha (while looking at me meaningfully)
Me: Hahahaha (what the…)

Later at home:

Mum: Are you sure you don’t want to meet him?
Me (while ironing, because I am like, so rajin at home…not): Meet who?
Mum: Kiran’s brother-in-law (he apparently doesn’t have a name, besides brother-in-law)
Me: Eh? Why? Won’t I, like, see him when we go over there anyway?
Mum: Well. I mean like meet him meet him.
Me (nearly burning top that I am ironing): What??? WHAT FOR?? I DON’T WANT TO GET MARRIED!! I DON’T EVEN OWN A CAR!!
Mum: He’s very good looking.
Me: Throwing up over ironing board.

The next day:

Mum: You know sweetie, when you get married, you should marry someone who’s intelligent and educated. Someone who won’t bring you down. Who has a job.
Me (now, This sounds like my normal mum): Yes Mum. I know.
Mum: He’s a lawyer, you know. He has a good job. And he seems like a nice boy.

Later that night:

Me: Why are you trying to get me married off? You used to tell me to never get married young.
Mum: I know sweetie. But he seems like a nice boy (seriously. Since when did nice boy become the number one prerequisite for husband material?). And I thought you were interested.
Me: Maaaaaaaaaaaa…I’ve only met him once, for like ten seconds. Three years ago.
Mum: Okay sweetie. I love you. Good night.



* Interested = Gee, I think he’s hot. I agree with that. He was hot. How Interested = Gee, I think I WANT TO GET MARRIED TO SOME RANDOM STRANGER WHOSE NAME I DON’T EVEN KNOW is beyond my understanding.

Yesterday (seems wonderboy left for KL because of his incredible lawyerly job):

Mum (after talking on the phone with BFF): She said that her mum’ll give you his email so that you can check out his whatchamacallit.
Me: (His what?) His what? Oh. His facebook.
Mum: Her mum’s such a joker.

Uh huh.

This morning:

Mum: Are you sure you don’t want his email?
Me: I’m sure!!!!
Mum: How about I give him yours?
Me (mentally scanning my facebook photos): NO!
Mum: Have you added me on your facebook yet?
Me: (seeing as my whole family and their uncles are already in my account anyway) Uh, not yet.

Before lunch:

Mum: Why don’t you want to get married sweetie?
Me: I don’t want to get married now! I’m only 23! I’ll get married when I’m 32!
Mum: Sweetie, no one will want to marry you if you’re 32.
Me: Speechless.