A Good Day (Unless You're Korean)

I just want to complain about stuff

1.

Ralph's last name is Lauren.

Why do people (like security guards and various people who fill up forms for you when you are perfectly capable, after 16 years of education, of filling it up yourself) put my name as Samantha Lauren?

Is my last name Lauren? Would I be here if my last name was Lauren?
No, I'd be in the Hamptons chilling with Andrea Casiraghi and starring in my grandfather's ad campaigns.

What kind of a nitwit puts Lauren as someone's last name when the LAST PART OF MY NAME is clearly JOSEPH??
(I blame my father. For having such a lame last name. Maybe if his surname had been McCrabbypatty this problem would not have arose).

2.

Got crown not enough is it?

Interviewed one of the former Miss Malaysia's. She's going to do her PhD.
She completed her Masters when she was 23.
Do you see how this is complaint worthy?
Can please go and be petty and unintelligent so I can go back to my comfort zone of stereotypes and prejudice against pretty people? Yeah, thanks.

3.

If you've ever wondered what it's like to kiss a snake, you can go ask Elin Woods

What are the people who are the third party in an adulterous affair thinking?
Do they think that person actually loves them?
Do they think that they're anything more than a confidence booster? I mean really. Just speaking from experience here.
(Experience of being daughter and gf to people who couldn't keep it in their pants).
They don't give a shit about you, so quit whining about how they are the only people who understand you and it's true love when people question you about why you can't go out and get a normal relationship.
Also, your friends? If they don't stop you, I assure you that means they also don't give a shit and think you're a loser.


4.

If you got yourself into the situation where you are, shut up and do something about it.
If you're doing something about it, then by all means complain.

5.

Girl bloggers act like they want to be on the cover of this. Wow, wearing lots of makeup and skimpy clothes! What an achievement in life (but who am I to say anything right, I also haven't achieved anything in life. but that's okay, one day I will level up).

Why do girl bloggers think they're hot, when most of them are not?
Is it like girl gamers or something? You aren't fat, you game, therefore you're hot?
What? How does that even make sense?
And you don't even need half a brain to blog (if i can do it, you can do it). Unlike gamers, who at least need some level of n00b destroying skills.

Well. A good day to everyone and their bunnies.

Sorry, Vegetarians.

Hi. Today I feel like ruining someone's day.

So here you go, vegetarians (unless you do it for religious purposes, then it doesn't apply to you).

I Just Wanna Feel, Real Love

I am reading Slap Me Why Don't You, and felt inspired to have my own little rant.

In my line of work, I deal with highly educated people. You know those types - sometimes arrogant, obnoxious, even pretentious. In a way I feel they earned the right to be proud of their achievements. But one thing is that they are very rarely rude. And I don't think that even if you're the President of the United States would you have earned the right to be rude to any human being (or living thing, including bunnies; they have feelings too).

So today I had to call a few highly educated people to confirm with them about an email interview. They were all very pleasant and polite. Then I came to the last lady.

Me: Is this Ms XXX?

Ms XXX: Yes, this is Ms XXX talking.

Me: Hi, I'm Samantha from TTT. We're doing an article on ZZZ and they gave us your number to contact. Do you mind doing an email interview for us?

Ms XXX: Oh, I already gave my details to Ms Etc from ZZZ.

Me: Yes, but we need you to do an interview and answer -

Ms XXX: Are you Ms Etc from ZZZ? Because I already gave my details to her. Can't you ask her?

Me: No, I'm not...Pardon me?

Ms XXX (impatiently): I've already talked to Ms Etc from ZZZ. You know Ms Etc from ZZZ? Can you ask her instead? I gave my details already. Are you Ms Etc from ZZZ?

Me: (what? I already told you who I was and where I was from when YOU PICKED UP THE PHONE. Also, you think what, people can write article just with your phone number and email is it? Can unlock secrets is it with that info?) No, I'm Samantha from TTT. You gave your details, but we need you to do an email interview -

Ms XXX: Interview? How about the others? What did they say?

Me: They've already agreed.

Ms XXX: So when do you want to interview us? I'm very busy you know. I don't know if I'm free.

Me: It's an email interview (as I had previously mentioned a gazillion times). I'll send it to you today, and you can take your time filling it up and send it to me on Friday.

Ms XXX: FRIDAY?? That's too soon. I won't have time to do it.

Me: There's only ten -

Ms XXX: Aiyo, it's too rushed. When is the last time that I can give it to you? Can you go and ask your editor when is the last date? Because I really don't think that is enough time to do an interview.

Me: WTHECK IS WRONG WITH YOU????I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO WRITE YOUR LIFE STORY AND SEND IT TO ME LA WOMAN!!!HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO ANSWER TEN QUESTIONS???YOUR KEYBOARD MADE OF CROCODILES IS IT??YOU DON'T WANT TO ANSWER SOME OF THEM ALSO FINE.

Nolah, what I said was this: I think probably Monday is the latest, as we are going to print next week.

Ms XXX (impatiently): I don't think that is enough time. I can only get back to you next week with the answers. That's a lot to write. You know what, you send me the email and then I'll look at it la. If I feel like it, then I'll answer it.

Me: Sure. That's great. Thanks very much and may warts grow on your grave.

I hung up.

IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT. WAISEHMEN like that also can. If you don't want to means say don't want la. Want to bargain time with me some more. My grandfather's newspaper is it?

After that I asked my editor if we could leave her out because she was such a pain.

Frigging Bounders

I used to think of bunnies as the Lame Pets. Pets for people who couldn't deal with the awesomeness of cats and dogs (but mostly cats). It was like the Tofu Pup of Meat Products - a sad excuse for a pet. A not-real pet.

But last Friday, this changed. I had promised myself a pet once my mum and brother moved down from Kuching (had a gag reflex just typing that word). I can't keep a cat here, so I had to turn to smaller, less lovable (or so I thought) alternatives.

I considered Hedgehogs (pokey), Ferrets (expensive), Hamsters (too small), Sugar Gliders (wtf.seriously.wtf kind of a pet is that), and Guinea Pigs. And also rabbits. For awhile hedgies were #1. Sort of like because they were 'cool' pets - uncommon yet cute. But the fact was I wanted a pettable pet.

While checking out hedgehogs at one pet shop, I saw this ginger rabbit in a cage. It was quite big la. But it was really cute! And it was ginger! I have a soft spot for gingers, partly because supposedly ginger hair runs in my family, but the last ginger in the family was an uncle. And then nothing. Also because ginger haired animals are just so cool looking.

GINGER ATTACK!! Bring on the satay sticks.

So after that, I started checking out bunnies. After all, bunnies were a good substitute for cats (or any pet) (or any other hole in your life).

Reasons Why Bunnies Are A Good Pet Choice

#1 They're basically mute
#2 They can't puke
#2 They live in cages
#4 They're incredibly low maintenance
#5 They need you
#6 They're friggin cute
#7 Really really cute

Really, really, really cute

At first I figured I was okay with any type of bunny - I'd know when I saw the bunny I wanted. But practicality prevailed, and we narrowed it down to several smaller types of bunns - Hotot, Netherland, and Lop.

Personally, I think Lops are kind of sad looking, dragging their too-long ears here and there, like a bride who missed her wedding. Hotots and Netherlanders are sweeter looking. By sweeter I mean they're so freaking adorable you want to smoosh them between your hands when you pick them up.

Sadly, Dwarf bunnies cost about 350-450 RM. I wasn't willing to fork out that amount of cash for a bunny (it's not even a cat! plus I'd been adopting all my cats from the SPCA). So, with a heavy heart, I thought oh well, beli je lah bunny mane-mane yang comel.

On my Bunny Quest, I dragged Greg to the petshop at Ikano during lunch, and lo and behold, there were two dwarf bunnies selling for 150 RM each!! (note: many 'dwarf' bunnies sold at petshops aren't true dwarfs - they'll grow bigger than the average dwarf bunny, but smaller than the average average bunny).

In the evening I dragged Seth there and we decided to get both bunnies.
That's right. From zero bunnehs to two in one night.

And I have to say, they are the cutest little things I have ever seen. Ever. Including kittens (hah! but I still love cats).

Haih. So damn cute. How la. No choice...but to eat them both!!!