Dreams of You are Always Sweet

Like as if you weren't thinking it.

While back home, I watched Dangerous Liaisons.
I learned many things.

Of course I cannot vouch for the truth of the things that I learned.
But.
This is what I learned:

It is impossible for a man to stay loyal to one woman.
Because it is man's nature to take. And woman's nature to give.

So. Avoid heartache.

Date only women.

Russia Is The End Of The World

27.10.08

This is what I told everyone to watch...but nooo

The other day I watched Max Payne with Iylia, Kat, Ghad and Wai Yung.

The movie left me with several questions.
The questions are:

9. Who is Mona Sax, and why does she walk around with an unconcealed weapon?

8. Why does Payne's wife keep making cheesy, don't-die-yet appearances?

7. What happened to the baby?

6. Why are Natasha's legs so damn long?

5. How come Payne's opponent standing above him and aiming directly at his head cannot hit him, but Payne can by shooting backwards?

4. How come Payne's bullets move slower than everyone else's?

3. What do valkyries and ragnarok have to do with anything?

2. I thought valkyrie were hot chicks.

1. Why did they even bother making this movie in the first place.

The answer to question 1 is obvious once you finish watching the movie.

'They' are idiots.

Did they not watch Doom? And Resident Evil?And RE2? And RE3? And every other movie made based on a video game? Oh, and Mortal Kombat. 1 and 2.
Did they not look up the meaning of lame in the dictionary and see the abovementioned directly below it?
Oh, and Dungeons and Dragons.

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What they should have done was adapt a comic book character.
Why?
Hulk was cool.
Iron Man was cooler.
Dark Knight was the kind of icebox that you use for deep sea fishing

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What I mean to say is that Dark Knight was awesome.

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Anyway. According to MY trend analysis (which is the only trend analysis that matters), the character should be a chick.
And she should be from Marvel.
(Why? Because DC chicks are just lame.
Wonder Woman - lame
Black Canary - lame (also, lame name)
Hawk Girl - lame (even lamer name)
Raven - ...kind of like her
Oracle - ...kind of like her, too.
We'll stop here.)

She should have a troubled past (duh).
She should be anti-heroic (or, anti-heroinic).
Her uniform should consist of skintight leather.
She should have black hair.
And claws.
And be psychotic, but good.
Also, taller than Wolverine.


Basically, X-23 should have had her own movie.

Stop! In The Name Of Love

I think I'm still in shock about completing my assignments. (Copious amounts of whiskey did not help. I mean, it helped. Of course. But not with the shock.)

In fact, now that I am back in front of my laptop, with nothing to do except update my blog, read Blog Anak Mat Nor, stalk hot guys on facebook, watch anime, msn and download songs, my life feels kind of...

empty.

Yes. Empty.

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Who am I kidding????

Empty????

It's like I've won the lottery, hit the jackpot, been handed wings with heat-resistant straps, experienced a miracle, an epiphany, a realisation.

And then it was like I had to race to the sun til the heat ate my skin, buy every dragonfly-green lamborghini diablo in existence and race blind til every one of them was smashed, drink shots til I couldn't remember my name, fall from blinding heights onto concrete.

(I wrote hard concrete. And then I realised it would be like,duh. Because obviously concrete is hard. Just like obviously Hugh Dancy is cuter than Jim Sturgess (but Chace Crawford is cuter than both).)

It was like I needed a thrill.

So I spent the day finishing up watching Ghosthunt.

Yes.
Sometimes, I am lame.

But it is a rare occurence.

Usually I am just peculiar

Later I went out with my friends. Best. Dapat slice of birthday cake.

And then I had to sing.

I sang (or made sounds which my larynx claims is singing) I Kissed A Girl.

I even had a backup singer.

It went like this:

Me (melalak): I kissed a girl and I liked it; taste of her cherry chapstick; It felt so wrong, it felt so right; Don't mean I'm in love tonight.

Kat (Backup Singer): Shoo-wop, shoo-wop

Yes.

She said Shoo-wop, shoo-wop.

This is shoo-wop

I've Seen Angels Fall From Blinding Heights

This is my secret identity

Okay.I'm only writing this entry because I'm bored. Oh, I have things to do.

Like my wannabe samurai chick.

But that doesn't mean I can't be bored.
Can it?

Maybe it's a sign of mental illness, when you have something to do but you're bored. Or it's a sign of an APEX university student who has missed two deadlines and feels like throwing up when faced with Microsoft Word.

I calculate that I have written more than 80 pages these past 4 days (granted, most of these pages were in NewCentury Schoolbook, size 11 and double-spaced...But still. Give me some credit).

Also, I have been listening to the same playlist of songs throughout all my assignments. Do you know how many times that is? That's like everytime you rode in your father's car when you were 12. For a month. And all he played was the Bee Gees. That's the spiritual equivalent.

I can sing You Know My Name by heart. But I love that song.

I can sing Ketulusan Hati by heart. I love that song too.

I can sing Womanizer...

OH MY GOD.

There IS something wrong with me!

Because I can't even SING in the first place.

And now I'm singing Britney!

...
Oh, you know what's a cool song?

No, I don't know either.


Make one up yourself.
...

Uh oh!

It's almost twelve!

At twelve I turn into a pumpkin that has to do sound editing and background touchups and create a whole storyboard out of thin air!

At twelve, I become the Magic Pumpkin.

But only at twelve.

And only tonight.

Other nights I turn into Xena, Warrior Princess.

...okay, you know what? I think I'm driving myself insane.

Hey!Break The Ice is playing!

Have you ever wondered how she can say the line "Let's get it blazin' " with a straight face?

Gile Banyak Drama Minggu Ini (And It's Not Even The End Of The Week)

When I go back (to wherever it is I am fortunate enough to go back to for that period of time), I like to watch tv. I think everyone does. I think everyone who watches tv will agree with me that Astro is one of the greatest creations in Malaysian broadcasting history.

Despite the fact that Astro has 652-odd channels, there are only three that I actually watch

1. MTV

2. Channel V

3. E!

Sometimes if there is something involving dragons, Scarlett Johanssen or Eric Bana shirtless, I will watch HBO. If Blood+ or that Primo Passo thing is on, I will watch Animax.

CNN, Bloomberg and its ilk only get my time of day if it is impossible to change the channel. How does this situation come about? No, it is not when the remote vanishes. You can always run to the store and get a new one. Duh.

It happens when either my uncle, father or grandfather has control of the remote. When that occurs, you are not even stupid enough to ask whether you can change the channel even though the endless rounds of golf is melting your brains and the computer has crashed.

My favourite person to watch tv with is Hannah. We think almost alike. Conversations while watching tv normally go like this:

Why are her boobs like that? As if she doesn't have enough money to pay for better ones.

Huh? She's depressed? She has a room the size of my house. What is she depressed about. Bodoh.

Perlukah nya mok madah...

GOD! She looks so OLD!

Ekeleh. He thinks he's the only one with a family kah? Just because his family's on tv. And owns five cars. And has a backyard the size of a park. Siot

Why is her face like that? As if she doesn't have enough money to buy a better one.

How come she doesn't look like her sisters?

Huh. If I said that to MY mother, kene lempang adalah.

and

God, don't they know they're on tv?

The shows we love best are Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Living Lohan. It makes us feel righteous watching it, even though they're the ones prancing around with million dollar pinky rings and enough money to pay for my education until I'm 55.

Always remember, God created even stupid, greedy people for a reason.

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If you can't figure out the reason, it's to make normal, rational, considerate people like us feel better about the fact that we're not humiliating ourselves on worldwide television.

This is not Eric Bana shirtless (but it's a nice picture anyway)

Kamulah Makhluk Tuhan Yang Tercipta Yang Paling Seksi

Ini adalah Chace Crawford

Iya, Chace. Kamulah Makhluk Tuhan Yang Paling Seksi.

Abaikan sahaja kata-kata mereka yang tidak setuju.

Kita berdua (dan juga Trinna) tahu, kamu tiada bandingannya.

Somebody Save Me

GOD I hate Smallville.

All My Joy Can Be Fit Into Shopping Bags

dear kitty

I curse the people who came up with macromedia, photoshop, illustrator, sound forge, dreamweaver, EVERYTHING to do with computer programmes because they have managed to make my heretofore bearable life utterly MISERABLE out of frustration and pent up murderous desires.

Die! Die! Die!

My character is stuck on the stage, I can't make her run through the mirror, I can't get more than one butterfly to come out of her hair, I don't know how the hell I get myself into this sort of situations.

I could have just animated a smiley face.

Christ.

I know exactly why, actually. This is all the fault of all the comic books I read, and all the anime I watch. I has screwed up my brain and my perception of reality. In which reality did I think I was capable of animating a woman in a kimono, complete with butterflies?????????!!!!!!!!! Thank God I didn't imagine her wielding katanas. I would probably have chewed off my own hand out of frustration had I done so.

I want to go shopping! I want to watch movies! I want to go out! I DON"T want to be stuck in front of my laptop from 10 am til 2 am (with generous breaks in between)!

Haih. This is why I don't like computers. They are unnatural. They have a mind of their own. And they rarely work in sync with our minds (mine anyway).

Why couldn't we be happy drawing on the walls with charcoal like our forefathers?

They never needed psychiatrists.

This is what I shouldn't be thinking of (but I am)

It's Not What You Say, It's The Sound of Your Voice

I conclude that being drunk is a lot like being in love.

Everything sounds good.

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But then, I wouldn't know about it for sure, would I?

Ha ha ha.

This contains alcohol and charlize theron's boobs.

The Girl With Kaleidoscope Eyes

This is a reason to read comic books

Let me tell you about comic books.

They Rock.

I am not exactly a connoisseuer (um, however the hell you spell it).Right now I'm reading X-Force, X-Men Legacy and Runaways.

Runaways is supercool. While reading it, you should bong and listen to The Beatles' Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds (which in my humble, non-bonghead opinion, is the ultimate bong song.seriously) for an out-of-this-world experience.

Anyway, all the aforementioned comics are cool. Of course. Otherwise I wouldn't be reading them.

But the one with the most ultimate cool factor is X-FORCE. Why is X-Force cool?
Wolverine.
X-23.
'Nuff said.
(Also, amazing art. Beautiful art. Seriously. Dude. These people should win Nobel awards for imagination. And for creating characters like X-23 and Wolverine)

For those of you not in the know (which I assume is all of you unless Wai Yung reads my blog), X-23 is basically a chick version ripoff of Wolverine.
In my opinion, any ripoff version of Wolverine cannot help but be inherently cool (except Sabretooth, who is just lame and needs a wardrobe redesign).

Except X-23 is COOLER than Wolverine.

Yes! I have said it! She is so insanely insane that she is cool. She even has claws on her foot. And she's hot. And she wears leather. And she's a brunette (I like brunettes). And she's a borderline murderous psychopath. But she works for the good guys.
Plus she doesn't say 'Bub'.
Also, I suspect that she is taller than Wolverine.
HA HA HA HA.

Of course Rogue, Polaris and Gambit are still the ultimate, all time favourites. But X-23 is in a league of her own.
The X-23 League.
Yeah.

Run Baby, Run

This is one of the principles in life I believe in:

Don't look back. Don't ever look back.

Looking back just fogs up the glasses (or to those of you not-sight-impaired, pokes the cornea of the eyes) with which you are seeing the world. It gets in the way.

The only reason you have a past is that so you can get over it and get to the future.

The past just messes stuff up. You say to yourself, No way in hell am I going to repeat that mistake.

What you should be saying is, Feck it, let's see what new mistakes I can make tomorrow.

Don't be afraid. No one can hurt you but yourself. The truth is, deep down inside, nobody gives a shit (just like nobody actually gives a shit whether your i is before or after your e, but they still pick on it).

Only you do.

This is what my future looks like

If I Hold The Whip, I Get To Tell You What To Do

EK ELEH...Catwoman je pon

This is my favourite word for the week





EK ELEH.





Thank you, Kat.

Back When I Was in Love With Abarai Renji

I have this assignment for CGI class. It's a really cool assignment, using Macromedia Flash.

I forget what the assignment is exactly, so I'll just call it Project 3.

So for this P3 we have to do a 10 second animation, promo animation for a product or a website.

10 seconds? I hear you say. 10 seconds, piece of cake.

My footlah piece of cake.

My knowledge of Macromedia is like this:

When I switch it on, I stare blankly at the screen, willing the little icons to communicate the purpose of their existence to me.

After several minutes, I realise (as I did so many times before) that this isn't going to work.

I go to the library and borrow books, one that looks like it could kill a man if it fell on him because it seemed impressive and the other because the guy who wrote it did animation for King of the Hill.

I have had these books for the past two weeks.

I have done no animation whatsoever.

....

Heh.

Anyway, let's not think about depressing stuff like assignments that haven't been done. Plenty of time to despair.

I actually both love and hate this kind of assignments. Love it because the endless possibilities of my imagination can potentially find an outlet, and hate it because I suck at computer programmes.

I used to hate computers.

I used to not particularly like phones either.

I'm old-fashioned that way.

So my incredible idea for the 10s ad is like this:

Outline

Woman in kimono runs. She runs straight into a mirror. She dissolves into black butterflies on the other side of the mirror. The butterflies fly off. They pass a flaghead of the title. At the end only the title remains.

Pitch

If you run into a mirror, you will disperse into butterflies.

This is what is written on the paper that my lecturer (bless his optimistic heart) approved.

If only I could just download it straight from my brain into a cd.

This is not my assignment.

I Have Never Had Lustful Feelings For A Dog

I have never had so much fun! We should do it again.

In fact, we should make it a practice. Monthly. Or bi-monthly. Or weekly.

During the holidays we should do it everyday, and then die at the age of 25 of degenerative kidney, heart, liver, nerve or brain disease (pick one. or several.).

Thanks to everyone for making it such a wonderful weekend.

Next time, we'll ALL bathe k?

;)

I have never had lustful feelings for...oh wait.

How Much Is That Chewie In The Window

I used to have pet fish.
I had four of them.
These were their names:

My Fish Names

1. Crabpot
2. Meatball
3. Wonderfish
4. Cheezel

With names like that, you expect them to live forever right? Or at least a really long time.
But no.
They lasted less than a week.
Cheezel was the first to go.
And then in an act that scars me to this day, Meatball committed suicide.
This was how she committed suicide:

One day after Cheezel was found floating bellyup, I washed the tank. In the sink. I put the fish in a separate container. When I was done cleaning the tank with love and care, I prepared to pour the remaining fish in. Beside the sink.
As she was being poured in, Meatball was suddenly hit by inspiration (or some other blunt object that made her suicidal) and leapt out of the container.
Into the sinkhole.
The open sinkhole.
The end.

Several days after that, Crabpot and Wonderfish were hit by a mysterious disease (some say overfeeding, but I refuse to believe that) and also expired, ending my foray into the world of fish-ownership.

I still have the godforsaken tank on my desk.
It sits there, chiding me with its emptiness.

Hey. I could make it into a dustbin.
Yeah?

This is an ideal pet

If Only George Boleyn Had Nothing Better To Do

Today I had dinner with Trinna and Iylia.

They are both good looking girls.

Of course during dinner someone handed Iylia a pink envelope. Inside was a card. It said Hey Girl. I think you're hot, and have been stalking you for some time. Call me. PS. wink wink.

Okay, that wasn't really what it said. But pretty much.

Weird.

This is what Iylia wishes her stalker looked like

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

28.9.08

This is not an electric sheep (it is an electric kettle)

Last night (for lack of better tings to do, like sleep) Hannah and I managed to compartmentalize half a dozen different types of dreams:

1. The Episodic Dream

This dream lasts several episodes, much like a mini tv series. It is very rare, both of us only ever having it once each.

2. The Edge Dream

This is where you fall off a building/stairs/floor and suddenly wake up because your leg in real life has spontaneously kicked out. Happens many times. Have yet to hurt anyone.

Occurs semi-regularly. Especially in times of great stress.

3. The Ultimate Frustrating Dream

In this dream, you always wake up at the very moment that the climax of your dream is about to occur.

Usually this climax consists of you being stuck in a fatal situation with no way out, for example fighting dinosaurs, running from volcanoes or about to pay the most massive shopping bill ever.

The consistency of waking at the auspicious moment has given rise to speculation that perhaps if one completes the dream, the resolution (eaten by non existent animals, actual payment of bills, the eating of the food) will be irreversible even in real life ie death and bankruptcy.

Occurs regularly enough, and are very vivid.

4. The Mirror Dream.

Reality in this dream directly mirrors the reality that you wake up to/ went to sleep in. Several details will be wrong, but you don’t know that because you think you’re actually STILL IN YOUR REALITY.

Which is freaky.

5. The Sixth Sense Dream

Things that are occurring while you are asleep and supposedly unaware infiltrate your dream and make you feel as if you have latent psychic abilities when you wake up.

But you actually don’t (obviously. Otherwise you’d have your own cult by now don’t you think).

For example, in your dream a Presence sort-of (because everything is a Sort-Of, But Not Really) like your mother walks into your room and the next second you’re awakened by your mother standing by your bed. Or in your dream you get your arm sat on by an overweight coyote, and you wake up unable to feel your arm, thinking that you’re the special kind of person whose dreams come true (padahal the overweight coyote was, ahem, yourself).

Occurs sort of regularly.

6. The Déjà vu Dream

This I feel is the weirdest dream, because usually it is a completely random dream (like about bridges) that you suddenly remember when you are in a situation that DOES NOT RESEMBLE THE DREAM AT ALL. But the feeling is so strong, you know that the dream was actually a message. Hannah has reported having déjà vu dreams in an episodic context, where the second part of the dream comes months later.

Unfortunately, déjà vu dreams are ultimately useless because all they do is scare you without giving any useful information about the situation that you may face.

Occurs irregularly

5. The Dream within a Dream

When you go to sleep straight into a dream (usually into a mirror dream) where you fall asleep all over again into ANOTHER dream.
The dream that you have is every bit as urgent and frightening as a regular go-to-sleep-and-dream dream. At the pivotal moment, you usually wake up into your actual dream, thinking you’re safe.

This false sense of security is usually disturbed when various characters from the Simpsons start appearing in your room and having conversations with you.

Occurs not very regularly

6. The Emo Dream

This dream is different from the rest because it carries itself over into YOUR reality. Usually the original dream is one that is carries great emotional significance, usually fear, sadness or extreme fear and sadness.
When you scream, cry or call out in the dream, your REAL self mimics it (or tries to anyway), and then you wake yourself up mid-squeak.

This dream is also potentially the most embarrassing.

Someone woke up screaming about the Lempeng Man (the occurence was attributed to disappoitment at breakast)

To this day Hannah has yet to live it down.

The Capybara's Adventure

28.9.08

This is not a bidet

Today I was attacked by a bidet.

I also found out, by watching the discovery channel, that some people consider time as the fourth dimension.

Busted, But Not Really.

26.9.08

This is not an illegal explosive

Last night we went to main mercun on the insistence of my little (12 year old. Is that little? He’s still smaller than me. Little lah ya) cousin.

So Hannah and I happily accompanied him on his illegal covert mission across the road as he lugged a bright pink plastic bag filled with all kinds of mercun, including a couple (also bright pink) that stuck a foot out of the bag.

It was pretty cool since I haven’t played with fireworks since I was like a kid. (I was just

wondering but when you translate mercun, does it become fireworks and/or dynamite?).

Unfortunately I have gotten old and paranoid. So everytime he lit one I would run a hundred meters away, dragging Hannah, leaving him to his own doom.

After flinging half a dozen low-grade explosives all over the place and causing second degree burns to most of the surrounding foliage, Ilyas finally took out The Bottle. The Bottle was going to be used to stick in The Thing Like Dynamite (but not really).

The first one fizzled and died out, much like a thought in my ex-boyfriend’s head.

The next one exploded all over the place, causing Hannah and I to take refuge at the other end of the street(again).

So he was happily swaggering around holding the bottle and I was recording him blowing the remaining smoke all over the place when he looks over my shoulder and goes

Ilyas: Oh Shit.
Sam: Why?
I (still holding smoking bottle): IT”S THE COPS!!!
(Memang sah pun at the other end of the street was a shiny, lighted cop car, inching slowly towards us.)
S (standing still, recording) : Let’s run!

I: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh (picks up firework bag and runs straight towards police car on the way towards the house)..........it's the cooooooooooooooops!!!!!!!!

I was laughing too hard to record it

Darn.

It could have become family legend.