The Self-Tormentor by Charles Baudelaire (It also has some Frenchy name that I can't remember and can't be bothered to spell)

This isn't the real poem (duh. give Baudelaire some credit. He may have been a cheap drunk and a leeching son, but he was a pretty good poet). It's just my interpretation of other people's interpretation (since the original is in French some of the translations just make hell with the actual meaning anyway).

I want to hurt you, without anger,without hate;
I want to taste your love and lust;
your fear as you face
a cruel and taunting master

Will you cry for me
and relieve my empty wasteland,
feed my barren desires
with the salt waters of your heart.

I will cherish each forced drop,
until my self is drowning
to the sound of your cries.
I cannot release you.

Am I not a freak,
an uncanny being.
Pity me, hold me, love me,
I am the victim of God's irony.

I hear his Fury, shrill in my ear,
poison in my dancing blood.
The mirror speaks to me
with the face of forgotten mistakes.

I am the knife that carvesmy flesh,
The beautiful death, and decay within,
I am the torturer who feels the pain,
I am the victim and the sin.

I am the vampire of my own heart,
I stand outside of humanity.
Without joy, without hope,
damned to eternal laughter.

the other boleyn girl

I watched The Other Boleyn Girl with Kat and Iylia yesterday (make that day before yest). Having pretty much non-existant knowledge of history, I don't know how accurate exactly the movie was (I'm thinking..not very. Hahaha). But it wasn't a bad movie. It wasn't great. But I really felt for the characters. I felt terrible for Anne when she realised she had got what she wanted, and that was the thing that was going to destroy her, and I felt so so sad when they threw George into the dungeon..he hadn't done anything, he just wanted to help his sister; that was really sad. Henry was just a Prick.
Of course, Henry was Eric Bana, so Eric Bana being a prick is totally different from anyone else being a prick, because anyone else wouldn't have Bana's peircing eyes and pointed face and incredibly droolworthy abs, and would therefore just be a prick. Bana was a Prick. A king-sized one.
Oooh, and the woman who played Katherine of Aragon was brilliant. She was so dignified and I loved the way she spoke! Well, if it isn't the Boleyn Whores. Two former ladies of mine. Hidin' in shadows.
Scarlett Johanssen is as always, very sweet and blonde. She always looks like she needs protection from everything, but not in an irritating, Keira Knightley-pouty way. She has some class. But everyone was overshadowed by the always gorgeous Natalie Portman. The woman is so beautiful! She isn't human. And to make a snake like Anne so pathetic and human is quite a feat. I felt sorry for Anne. She is that good.
But unfortunatelt because the movie is okay and not brilliant nor heart-wrenching, people are going to forget her spectacularity. Oh well. She's still one of the best actresses to me (she has the cutest nose too!).

dear kitty

dear kitty
this is me, being bored (despite having 3 assignments to do before friday, and none of them so much as started) because i am a lazy pig. personally,it is a good life. especially when it rains. rain induces pig-likeness, the desire to wallow in ones bed and do nothing.
also a bit too distracted to really do anything. geram, tau geram sangggaaat. that's the problem with dating, and then breaking up with the biggest moron this side of the galaxy. you get stuck in a clusterfuck. and everywhere you turn, you're impeded by his crashing lack of intellect. it's something you can't escape. why? why god? why do you create this kind of people. i know you wanted variety, but this is just ridiculous. you could have created a new species of pond-scum bacteria instead. less fatally irritating.
tambahan i ahve to write my assignments in bm.my bm sucks. that means i have to write everything in english, then spend 3 hrs in front of mic word with an's dictionary translating every damn word. wow. bestnye.
(think of raya cookies, shopping and laksa think of raya cookies, shopping and laksa think of raya cookies, shopping and laksa...)